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The OMG! Gardening Awards 2011

What???  You thought you’d seen the last of the OMG! Gardening Awards, well think again. It’s back for 2011, although I hasten to add, not bigger or better, just back.  For those that don’t know what the hell I’m wittering on about, let me explain…

Every year the great and the good of the gardening world, along with some of the not so good, gather at a secret location in London to witness an act of debauchery known as The Garden Media Guild (GMG) Awards.  Apparently, this year’s event is being held on November 30th, when a string of glittering gongs, boasting a blinginess that out dazzles the Academy Award trophy or ‘Oscar’ (it’s actually a photocopied certificate in an Ikea picture frame , Ed) will be dished out to winners of categories such as Best Journalist, Best Magazine and Lifetime Achievement Award.

Well, the OMG! Gardening Awards is the antithesis of the fusty old GMG Awards (the only thing they have in common is an annoying acronym) and was established in 2009 by a group of industry heavyweights. Inspired by the infamous Smash Hits Poll Winners Party of yesteryear and the BRAT Awards (launched by the NME music paper as a lighter hearted, ruder version of the BRIT Awards), the OMG!s have become a refreshing left-field alternative to establishment.

So, don’t expect to find any categories here for best books, photographs or TV shows. What we like celebrate is the Most Snoggable Male, Worst Dressed Gardener and other things that really, really matter.

The rules? There aren’t any. The awards are open to all, wherever you are in the world. You can vote for anybody, whether they be a writer, author, blogger, TV star, tweeter, garden designer etc.

So come on, don’t be shy. Start voting now. The deadline for casting your votes is 11pm on November 29th and the results will be unveiled at a glittering ceremony at this very site on the morning of November 30th.

Happy voting!!

OMG! Awards 2011 – The Categories

1 Most Snoggable Male

2 Most Snoggable Female

3 Best Dressed Gardener

4 Worst Dressed Gardener

5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration

6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)

7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)

8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)

9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)

10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)

55 comments to The OMG! Gardening Awards 2011

  • It gets more and more tricky:

    1 Most Snoggable Male
    Definitely J A-S and Mark D, at the same time. And I’m including Christopher Woodward too as anyone who’s swum to Africa had got to be worth it.

    2 Most Snoggable Female
    I need to think about this, I can’t remember who I’ve snogged

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    Mark Diacono for sure (all that Paul Smith)

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    Monty Don – Bad Moleskins

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female)
    J A-S

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    NoBrainer: Monty Don

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    Matthew Wilson in the women’s 400m hurdles

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    Well, I’m thinking Anne Wareham would be happy to be nominated, but ducking just in case she’s furious

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    Stephen Andrton and his cabaret act, of course

  • VP

    Hurrah! Let the fun and games begin :)

    Voters struggling for inspiration in the Hirsutes You, Sir! category, might like to peruse the catalogue over at the Bristling Gardeners Movember page. Expect to be surprised. The odd fiver’s donation won’t go amiss either…

    http://uk.movember.com/mospace/1340754/

  • Oooh what fun. But ehhh, where does one vote? In comment box?

  • Richard Jones

    How an award for the best anti-gardener of the year. There’s this entomologist I know who blogs on a gardening website, but he never says anything constructive about gardening. He just expects gardeners to let their plots run wild. To hell with the geraniums, as long as the bugs are OK. Pathetic.

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male
    Simon Webster aka ‘Garden Hero’. Well, I’m giving votes for huggable – in my limited personal experience, having hugged very few of the potential candidates (Monty is a fine hugger though:-)

    2 Most Snoggable Female
    Ummmm….*contemplates a bit of girl on girl action, thinks better of it, just in case I like it…*

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    J-A-S. For the hats.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    I am the worst dressed gardener I know. But I hereby make myself ineligible by declining to provide photographic evidence.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female)
    Jo Thompson – for the slugtache

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    Surely David Domoney…

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth) Whatever happened to Gay Search? Has she been spammed off the planet?

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    Simon Webster/Garden Hero again. Is giant worm wresting an Olympic sport?

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    To quote Jo: “Well, I’m thinking Anne Wareham would be happy to be nominated, but ducking just in case she’s furious” Er – seconded. Additional ducking clause also seconded…

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    Team vote for Andrew Wilsonii, Malvernmeet and Jane Powers – a choral trio.

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male
    Has to be Monty Don (can’t believe he’s already been nominated for Worst dressed and worse Yawn Chorus award…!!!)

    2 Most Snoggable Female
    None

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    James Alexander Sinclair. I have a penchant for hats, and his is legendary.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    Alys Fowler… sorry…!

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female)
    Cleve West, despite far too scary close up photograph

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    Alan Titchmarsh, especially after recent terrible gardening show

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)
    Rupert Golby

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    Carol Klein

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    Alan Titchmarsh!!

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    The stars of ‘Three men went to mow’. Bafta’s may be a stretch, but amusing none the less.

  • Petra:

    http://twitter.com/#!/daviddomoney

    Gardening expert! Medal winning garden designer!! TV personality!!!!

  • Jay Ess

    That’s a lot of catagories but I’ll have a crack at it:

    1 Most Snoggable Male: that’ll me, form an ordely row ladies.

    2 Most Snoggable Female: I would nomitate my wife if she ever would have bothered to do anything useful in the garden. The only gardening snoggable female I’ve ever come across is Rachel de Thame so got to nominate her.

    3 Best Dressed Gardener; Gardening and being well dressed doesn’t go together so no nomination from me.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener. Monty Don, no contest, what a dork.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration. No self-respecting gardener cultivates facial hair, not even in Movember.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us). Alan Titchmarch, no contest. He’s only exciting for the dementing over 90′s.

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth). Whatever happened to Bob Flowerdew. Most gardeners would kill for that name.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics). That’ll be me again. I must be the fittest gardener out there.

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way). Monty Don, who let him back???

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show). My mother in law, she knows everything to do with gardening and more than happy to share that with me when she “inspects” my garden.

  • Sue:
    Thanks, am nodding though still vacant on Mr. Domoney. May be a blessing though?

  • Wickedly funny…love it!
    1. Most snoggable male: Chris Beardshaw…a man whom I imagine looks good in lycra
    2. Most snoggable female: Rachel De Thame…she always looks hot…
    3. Best dressed gardener: Monty Don..love his leather waistcoat, fishing smocks & holey jumpers
    4. Worst dressed gardener: Christine Walkden (sorry.. love listening to her though)
    5. Hirsutes You, Sir : Dawn Issacs the button photo is brilliant
    6. Yawn Chorus Award : Bob Flowerdew…(I’m sure he is lovely but on the radio not so much…..)
    7. Missing in Action: The David D’ chap… (and the hair is a bit Robbie Savage)
    8. A good sport: Chris Beardshaw he would be amazing in the olympic velodrome…again in lycra..
    9. Ooh Get Her : Bunny Guinness…(Guinness V Gavin.. RHS Chelsea border fall out)
    10. Gardening’s Got Talent: Bob Flowerdew…Hair plaiting

  • Charles Hawes

    1 Most Snoggable Male

    Me (in my dreams)

    2 Most Snoggable Female

    So many candidates. After Anne Wareham (I am not going to vote for her or you lot will all want to snpg her) it has to be Latitia though. (there is only one Latitia)

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    Latitia

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    Joe Swift

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration

    Sarah Raven

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)

    Alan Titchmarsh

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)

    Pass. I’ve forgotton them

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    I am going to vote for Anne wareham cos she ought to win something here (but its really not true!)

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)

  • Poppy

    Who are you voting for then Martyn? I want to know who you had in mind when you came up with the questions!
    Don’t be shy now…

  • Correction re Number 5 – the hirsuit award.

    It’s Dawn Isaac with the slugtache. Pic was posted on FB by Jo Thompson and I wasn’t paying attention #musttryharder…

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male – Hmmm … I think I need to road test the category: would somebody line up Beardshaw, Don and Gavin (alphabetical order) so I can choose between them? Ta.

    2 Most Snoggable Female – the only one I would snog is Carole Klein, although Laetitia Maklouf is sexier, she’s out of my league – it would be like snogging Nigella

    3 Best Dressed Gardener – got to be James Alexander-Sinclair, although Laetitia is also very nicely attired

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener – Alan Titchmarsh who tends to look like he was stitched into his blazer by a sadistic wardrobe mistress

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration – oh come off it, you’re all too cute by far to be voted for.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us) – couldn’t possibly vote for anybody (Sarah Raven) in this category

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth) – Bob Flowerdew

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics) – surely Chris Beardshaw although Diurmid Gavin looks like he might be a nifty little nipper in lycra too.

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way) – no idea, all the gardeners I know (except the ones I write about) are utterly charming.

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show) – Joe Swift has an uncanny ability to make me get up and do the ironing, but I don’t think that would help him win anything except an award for well-pressed shirts.

  • KB

    1 Most Snoggable Male

    2 Most Snoggable Female

    3 Best Dressed Gardener – The one and only Kevin Smith, who is always immaculately turned out.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener – Me, apart from the one day of the year (GMGs) when I dress up.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration – No facial hair is good, so my vote goes to Dawn Isaac for her slug tache.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us) – MA

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth) – Lila Das Gupta.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics) – I know this is a cop out, but it has to be Cleve West really, doesn’t it?.

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way) – I have never seen a gardener have a tantrum *lies*

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show) – The amazing Arabella Sock, for her hilarious videos.

  • Johnny

    1 Most Snoggable Male: Not qualified to comment.
    2 Most Snoggable Female: Shallow I know but it’s got to be Rachel de Thame.
    3 Best Dressed Gardener; I like Monty Don’s style.
    4.Worst Dressed Gardener. Bob Flowerdew – “sort your clothes out & get your hair cut at the same time”.
    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! Can’t think of one.
    6 Yawn Chorus Award. If ever there was an award for Dan Pearson then this has got to be it. He’s like the world’s second most boring person shown in slow motion.
    7 Missing in Action Whatever happened to Toby Buckland, I thought that he was good with plants, he lacked taste adsmittedly though.
    8 A Good Sport He’s a bit past it but probably Jason
    9 Ooh, Get Her! Another strong vote for Alan Titchmarch
    10 Gardening’s Got Talent. I admire Sarah Raven’s talent for making money.

  • The most natural of media gardeners – not on your list, I know, but a possible category. Jim McColl and Carol Baxter from north of the border at the Beechgrove Garden.

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male. Chris Walkden

    2 Most Snoggable Female. Joesephine Swift

    3 Best Dressed Gardener. Alys Fowler

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener. Alan Titchmarsh

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! Very close run thing. (In fact only a whisker between them) so equal points to Dawn & Anne-Marie.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award. Carol Klein

    7 Missing in Action. Monty Don

    8 A Good Sport. None other than the black belted one – Mr. M Cox (Martyn, you do have a black belt I hope ?)

    9 Ooh, Get Her! Mr. Hat

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent. Christine Walkden for her uncanny ability to look like a root vegetable.

  • Michelle Wheeler

    Now that I write for the best selling weekly mag and we are obviously the best at what we do,(and I want to keep my job) here are my nominations.

    1 Kris Collins, my gardening editor
    2 Sally Charrett, my deputy editor who has very fine dress sense in the office
    3 Marc Rosenberg, he sometimes wears a suit,(only in London)
    4 Mark Diacono, he needs to buy a new shirt.
    5 Anne-Marie
    6 No comment
    7 Monty Don
    8 Cleve West
    9 Could not possibly say
    10 JAS hat

  • Late vote but you did say ‘The rules? There aren’t any.’ so I shall completely ignore your closing date!

    1 Most Snoggable Male:
    The reason why my vote is late :) Cleeve West (Cleeve who?)

    2 Most Snoggable Female:
    Pass.

    3 Best Dressed Gardener:
    Carol Klein but she needs to roll her sleeves up (maybe they got streched in the wash), oh and get a lampshade for her potting shed.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener:
    Alan Titchmarsh. Saville Row suits and pink neckties are just not practicle.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female): JAS

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us):
    Prince Charles…Who does he think he is?!

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth):
    Anne Wareham. Last seen being pursued by a Lordly gentleman wielding a copy of The Spectator.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics):
    Sir Roy. WOW…Didn’t know he could run that fast!

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way):
    Anne Marie…and she can do karate!

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show):
    Monty Don. Heard he can play the spoons on his trowels :)

  • 1. Most Snoggable Male >>> Always had a thing for Mr T ;-)

    2. Most snoggable female >>> Michelle Wheeler is the garden media’s new hot totty!

    3 Best Dressed Gardener >>> I like Carol K’s style. We all know the media generally lacks 50+ female role models – Carol comes across as independent and fearless. Good for her.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener >>> Christine W should invite Trin and Suze round for a cuppa.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! >>> Hadn’t seen a picture of Alan P-M before – yum! He looks a
    bit like Tom Selleck with facial hair, so gets my vote!

    6 Yawn Chorus Award >>> Too many to mention here!!!!!

    7 Missing in Action >>> Where is Ms Dimmock these days?

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics) >>> does this include alcohol-induced delusions of being good at sport? Coz that would need to go to Martyn Cox for thinking he was Sylvester Stallone in the Master Gunner last year, after a couple of lager tops…

    9 Ooh, Get Her! >>> Phil Clayton’s prima donna soap box rants provided daily entertainment when I worked on The Garden

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show). Once had the privilege to see Adam Pasco on Abba SingStar. The guy’s a legend.

  • VP

    NB Bob Flowerdew cropped up in Chris Collins’ programme on Weeds on BBC4 at the weekend. Does that declare any votes for him null and void in the MIA category?

  • Nicola

    Worst Dressed – has to be Charlie Dimmock, if you can win this accolade simply by omitting an essential article of clothing.

    Special Grumpy Old Man Mention – Peter Seagrumble

  • GH

    1 Most Snoggable Male
    >>Going to have to say Mr. Charles Hawes here…after a few bottles of wine I reckon I could do worse. Still…James A-S is looking pretty hot these days.

    2 Most Snoggable Female
    >>So many!! Haha! I’d like to give Sue a snog for voting for me, and i’ve tried to snog Anne Wareham on many occasions, (and many more to come no doubt!…prrrrrr!) and i’d love to have a crafty one with Jo Thompson (sorry Jo!) but i’m going to vote for the rather lovely serial show gardener Pip Probert, who will undoubtedly hide in terror should she ever see this!

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    >>Are you kidding? James of course! Especially with the recently acquired facial attire!

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    >>Many to choose from here…but inclined to agree with Nicola, I reckon Charlie Dimmock has actually evolved so her skin is the colour of clothing. perhaps she can change it like a chameleon.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration
    >>Someone who I imagine laughs just like Tim Curry, and Simon Callow’s long lost relative…Lord Andrew Wilson.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    Haha! The guvnor of gravel, the mastermind of monoliths…David ‘Show me’ Domoney.

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)
    Well, although Martyn has been a bit quiet recently (twitterwise)…but has renewed vigour; so i’ll plump for Bunny Guiness – she’s been quiet since she stuffed her Chelsea garden far too full, and didn’t allow access to anyone wider than a gnat’s cock. (Ooooh….who am I to judge tho!)

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    >>That would be most gardening folk I know….but Michelle Wheeler with her guns could easily take gold in many events!

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    >>Hello again (not a happy) Bunny! Tempted to say Anne, but Anne is not about getting her own way! Honestly believe Bunny expected more from this year, and looked DECIDEDLY unhappy at Chelsea after the medals were awarded.

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    >>I could vote for myself, and my impressive wiggling ears…but I reckon Swifty’s gift to look more like his father every day should not go without recognition.

    I may be inclined to change my mind…..

    :)

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male
    is obviously Cleve West. It always is and always will be: he should be given a lifetime snoggability achievement award.He is also very undiscerning about who he snogs so anybody can have a go.

    2 Most Snoggable Female
    Ann-Marie Powell and Dawn Isaac. But only together and if they keep their moustaches.

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    Laetitia Maklouf is the garden equivalent of Lady Mary Crawley (from Downton Abbey) in a riding habit

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    That Mark Diacono is a terrible scruff.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration
    Andrew wilson’s handlebar is magnificent but, for sheer over the topness it has to be Richard Wanless (http://www.flickr.com/photos/bristlinggardeners/6346426331)

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    Many Architects.

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)
    Has to be Martyn Cox. One post a year doth not a blogger make.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    Matthew wilson: for handball and hurdling

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    I suppose that the required answer for this question is Anne. I will conform.

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    Stephen Bennett (RHS Shows Director) plays the drums in a band.

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male
    Not snogging anyone until some shaving has happened

    2 Most Snoggable Female
    Dawn Isaac – deserves extra kisses for her slug-tache and displaying new levels of creativity in facial adornment. Respec, mo-sista

    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    Carol Klein has some nice shoes I hear. Alan Gray’s jackets are eye-popping. Can one build some sort of horticultural style chimera using components from different people?

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    Hmmm. This is tricky. In an industry of scruffs there is a lot of competition. Alternatively if it is about fitness of attire for function (see best-dressed gardener votes passim) Laetitia Maklouf in a riding habit should win – but I wouldn’t like to be so rude to someone I have not yet met and I have welly-envy (so to speak), so I have to abstain.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Dawn Isaac and Anne-Marie Powell

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    You are all fascinating

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)
    Don’t know, I’ve not seen them.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    Benjamin Ranyard @higgledygarden he ran the Berlin marathon I believe, and that is, like going abroad to be sporty. Dedication.

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    I could tell you but it would be very undiplomatic. And when they vanish suddenly I would be implicated.

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    Aunty Planty for her waggy finger that must be obeyed.

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male: Cleve West, but only after he’s shaved.
    2 Most Snoggable Female: R says he still wants to snog Rachel de Thame. Or wants me to snog Rachel de Thame. Either will do, apparently.
    3 Best Dressed Gardener: James A-S remains remarkably dapper.
    4 Worst Dressed Gardener: Bob Flowerdew.
    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration: Jo Thompson – or rather her chocolate lab, which looks much better with facial hair than any of the human contenders.
    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us): I can’t think of any boring gardeners.
    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth): Ms B (The Lazy Trollop)
    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics): Charlotte (The Galloping Gardener)
    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way): It’s obligatory to vote for Anne Wareham, isn’t it?
    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show): Dawn Isaac and Ann-Marie Powell jointly for their creative moustache-making double act.

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male: Monty Don. Sorry. I know it’s not cool.

    2 Most Snoggable Female: I’ll have to do some research on that one. But hubster says it’s Rachel de Thame. I didn’t even make it in as an afterthought.

    3 Best Dressed Gardener: I find Mr James Alexander-Sinclair extraordinarily dapper.

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener: Me. Hands down. I went on the school run with my gardening trousers tied together with string this morning. A close second has to be Christine Walkden.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration
    Dawn Isaac. No contest.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)Matthew Appleby (if you can call him a gardener, which I doubt). If not, David Domoney (ditto).

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)I haven’t seen Emma Townshend around much lately, though may just have been hanging out in the wrong places.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics): Cleve West, if only because he’s the only one of us ever to have broken into a passable run.

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way) Another (affectionate) vote for Anne here

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    The Three Men Went to Mow crew

  • 1. Most Snoggable Male: Jason Ingram – X (that’s for you Jason).
    2. Most Snoggable Female: Kate Bradbury – especially when she wears a short skirt at the GMGs.
    3. Best Dressed Gardener: Alys Fowler – I love her mix of vintage clobber.
    4. Worst Dressed Gardener: Monty Don – I’ve never recovered from the ‘brown cord’ episode of GW.
    5. Hirsutes You, Sir: Dawn Isaac and Anne Marie Powell should share this one.
    6. Yawn chorus Award: Matthew Appleby
    7. Missing in Action: Gay Search
    8. A Good Sport: Geoff Wakeling – he’s always wearing a vest or at the gym from what I can gather from twitter.
    9. Ooh, Ger Her! Sarah Raven (only because I’m jealous of Perch Hill though).
    10. Gardening’s Got Talent: Me – I’m desperate to get on Strictly

  • OMG it’s nearly the GMGs and I havent done my OMGs
    1 Most snoggable male: I’ll take a trio of Cleve, Mark D and Matthew W. November 1st post-shaving, of course.
    2 Most snoggable female: Jo Thompson. Funny, clever *and* hot. Also Laetitia, for obvious reasons, if I’m allowed two.
    3 Best dressed gardener: am going to copy Kevin here and go for Alys
    4 Worst dressed gardener: I secretly quite like Monty’s cords so Im a bit stuck here…
    5 Hirsutes you sir: James Alexander-Sinclair. Born to have a twirly moustache.
    6 Yawn chorus: oh go on then. Appleby I spose, tho he’ll love it.
    7 Missing in action: can’t think…
    8 If I say Cleve someone might get out that picture of him hurdling again… The thighs…
    9 Cant think
    10 Martyn Cox. Do they do karate on Britain’s got talent? Probably.

  • 1. Most Snoggable Male: modesty forbids…oh alright, Cleve
    2. Most Snoggable Female: So many foxy ladies…can I hedge my bets with Laetitia, Dawn, Lia, Alys AND Kate?
    3. Best Dressed Gardener: Laetitia (for her well placed carrot foliage)
    4. Worst Dressed Gardener: The wearer of the most illfitting brown cord suit
    5. Hirsutes You, Sir: Matthew Wilson
    6. Yawn chorus Award: Matthew Appleby
    7. Missing in Action: Emma T…blog again lady!
    8. A Good Sport: JAS – throw a sticky bun and see how fast he runs after it
    9. Ooh, Ger Her! Anne W
    10. Gardening’s Got Talent: Me – I know the most shop/doctor’s jokes

  • 1. Most snoggable male: Charles Hawes
    2. Most snoggable female:The pocket rocket, Rachel Warne
    3.Best dressed gardener: I’m loving Sir Roy Strong’s new look
    4.Worst dressed gardener: Any who favour the young fogey tweed look.
    5.Hirsutes you, sir: Ken Crowther – avoids Movember every year by rocking an Abraham Lincoln style beard, sans upper lip part.
    6.Yawn chorus award: Who came up with these stupid categories?
    7. Missing in action: I think she won this last year, but it has to be the mighty Emma T.
    8. A good sport: The Flashing Blade, JAS.
    9. Ooh, get her! Marc Rosenberg throws an almighty strop if his very specific demands are not met when he attends gardening events. His rider should include 3 x packets of Minstrels, 2 x cartons of sugar free Ribena, a copy of Viz and a male tabby cat.
    10. Gardening’s got talent: Bluegrass virtuoso Lia L

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male – Completely thrown by this given that all the usual male totty have gone and smothered their faces in more hair than is completely necessary. Even my usual go-to snoggable vote for JAS has been compromised. After more thought than should really be given to this by a married woman, I am going to have to split my vote between Matthew Wilson because he can carry off the Ding Dong look and Mr Diacono for rocking the ginger ‘tache and because he’s part of an oppressed minority (see here – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw)

    2 Most Snoggable Female – Having rather enjoyed wearing moustaches and selected male attire for the last month, I think it’s best not to give myself any more ideas.

    3 Best Dressed Gardener – Laetitia. I don’t think I need expand, do I?

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener – Monty Don based on the chocolate brown corduroy suit. Unforgivable.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! – Ann Marie Powell. Obviously.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award – David Domoney

    7 Missing in Action – Martyn, it’s got to be you. I think I just saw some tumbleweed blowing across this blog.

    8 A Good Sport – Cleve West (mostly said in the vain hope he’ll don a pair of shorts)

    9 Ooh, Get Her! Pass. Everyone is lovely. I really, really love them all (which is basically what I shall be saying, with additional slurring, for most of Wednesday)

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent – Lia for her washboard antics (I am also betting she plays the spoons and harmonica – possibly simultaneously)

  • VP

    Ahem. Bonsoir – at last I have the votes cast by the Chippenham jury.

    1 Most Snoggable Male
    All of the Movember crew – having had a boyfriend/husband with a beard for 29 years, my face is suitably toughened up to cope with a mere month’s worth of whiskerdom
    2 Most Snoggable Female
    Mosistas Dawn and Ann-Marie deserve much respect for their daily efforts this month. Makes me giggle every time
    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    JAS – it’s the hat every time
    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    Bob Flowerdew
    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female)
    As for 1 and 2 combined
    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us)
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth) EmmaT every time – come back!
    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics)
    Hmm loads to choose from – Cleve, JAS and Martyn have all confessed to partaking in some kind of sport from time to time. I’ve plumped for Cleve because I’ve not voted for him outright for most snoggable male this year
    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way)
    I’m ducking along with Jo on this one
    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    Three Men Went to Mow get my nod, though it looks like a band comprising all the instrumentalist and vocalist nominees thus far plus Jekka McVicar who used to be in a band might give them a run for their money

  • OMG! Awards 2011 – The Categories
    1 Most Snoggable Male
    Actually, I’m seeing a whole new rather dashing side to Nigel Colborn, now he’s grown a moustache
    2 Most Snoggable Female
    Dawn Isaac, in any moustache
    3 Best Dressed Gardener
    Laetitia. And this from someone who would rather die than wear a flowery frock.
    4 Worst Dressed Gardener
    David Domoney. That shirt. Those jeans. That hair. (Was going to say that face, but I suppose the poor man can’t help his face.)
    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Andy Sturgeon in Movember mode. Makes me laugh every time.
    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us).
    Tempted to nominate Mr Domoney again. Exhibit A: this quote from the Daily Telegraph. “A tab of viagra put into a vase of flowers will stiffen the blooms” What I want to know is, why does he have the Viagra in the first place? On the other hand, maybe I don’t want to know.
    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth)
    Gay Search
    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics) Sarah Price.
    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way).
    I couldn’t possibly point the finger at anyone, it would be hypocritical. 10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show)
    Guerilla gardener Richard Reynolds, who was a chorister.

  • Martyn, your blog is running an hour ahead! By my clock, it’s still only 11.45pm on 28 November xx

  • 1 Most Snoggable Male I always say James or Cleve, so this year I’m going to be different and say Cleve or James.

    2 Most Snoggable Female Is it wrong to hanker for a four way with Laetitia, Dawn, Lia and Ann Marie?

    3 Best Dressed Gardener Ann Marie for her partay attire

    4 Worst Dressed Gardener Who am I to fight against the tide of opinion. Dave, obviously.

    5 Hirsutes You, Sir! (gardener with the best facial hair – male or female) Click HERE for inspiration Mark D. Smokin’.

    6 Yawn Chorus Award (gardener with an over inflated opinion of themselves, who bores the pants off the rest of us) Anyone who feels compelled to take the generally rather relaxed, relaxing and life affirming business of gardening and turn it into some kind of agit-prop posturing. You know who you are.

    7 Missing in Action (the blogger, writer, gardener etc who seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth) Emma. Whenever I’m reading bedtime stories to the kids and I get to the bit in The Hungry Caterpillar where it mentions A Nice Green Leaf I just feel a little, well, empty.

    8 A Good Sport (gardener most likely to take part in the 2012 Olympics) A late call-up for Cleve, surely?

    9 Ooh, Get Her! (a special award given to a prima donna or person most likely to throw a tantrum if they don’t get their own way) I’ve seen too many, from people who you’d be too shocked to think would be so inclined.

    10 Gardening’s Got Talent (person with a secret gift that would help them win a talent show) I’ve seen James’s maraccas. Deftly handled and boy has he got riddim.

  • I don’t think I want to see James’s maraccas. Particularly if they are Movember maraccas.

  • ooh thanks Lia: I will return the compliment and nominate you right back

  • Thanks to everyone for voting this year. The polls are now closed.

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