The OMG! Gardening Awards 2010
Here’s the background. On Wednesday 1 December, the great and the good of the gardening world, along with others looking for a good time, will gather for the 250th Garden Media Guild (GMG) Awards at The Brewery in East London. After gorging on a three course meal washed down with copious amounts of wine, the 500 or so folk will wait with baited breath to see whether they have a bagged one of the coveted awards, which are available in 21 categories.
I must make it clear at this point that I am a GMG committee member and have absolutely nothing against the GMG Awards – although I’m as bitter as hell about having never won anything. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll get over it one day. But, I felt the convention, formality and the predictability of this institution needed a good kick up its backside and inaugurated the OMG! Gardening Awards (here are the 2009 results). My inspiration? The Smash Hits Poll Winners Party of yesteryear and the BRAT awards, launched by the NME music paper as a lighter hearted alternative to the corporate stuffiness that is the BRIT awards.
So, you won’t find any awards for Best Magazine, Best TV Show or Practical Book of the Year here, but you can vote in 10 really important categories, such as Worst Dressed Gardener, Tweet of the Year and Top of the Mops award for best haircut.
The awards are open to all, wherever you are in the world and are completely democratic, so please cast your votes below without fear of intimidation. The rules? Well there aren’t any, you can vote for whoever you like. Oh, I thought I should mention that after some funny business last year, I’ve employed a crack security team to ensure that James Alexander Sinclair can’t submit multiple votes using cunning pseudonyms.
The deadline for voting is 30 November. A team of statisticians have been commissioned to help me crunch votes that night and the UN have promised to send an election inspector to my house to make sure that everything is above aboard. That’s it. And remember, your votes really do count!
OMG! Awards 2010 – The categories
1 Most snoggable male
2 Most fanciable female
3 Best dressed gardener
4 Worst dressed gardener
5 Tweet of the year
6 Where are they now? (the blogger, gardener, writer etc who seems to have vanished off the face of the earth)
7 Comeback of the year
8 Top of the mops award (best haircut)
9 Get over yourself (person with an overinflated opinion of him or herself)
10 Me and big mouth (a person in the gardening world who can’t help putting their foot in it)
*OMG! = Oh my God! Come on granddad, get with it.