Winners of the OMG! Gardening Awards 2009
After working through the night (under the watchful gaze of a UN observer, brought in to ensure a fair and free poll), the results of the inaugural OMG! Gardening Awards 2009 have been well and truly crunched, partially digested and regurgitated.
Despite fear of intimidation, blackmail and threats, there was a healthy turnout at the polls, which ended up attracting millions quite a few of you.
Counting the votes went fairly smoothly, although there were a few problems. Several voters changed their minds or sought to corrupt the result by voting several times under cunning pseudonyms – my crack team of security experts have promised me that they will tighten up procedures for next year’s poll.
Before the awards are announced I would like thank all those who put several hours aside to come up with their nominations for such an important poll. The team at the OMG! Gardening Awards salute you all. And my message to those who didn’t vote – you should be ashamed of yourselves. Your nominations could have made a big, big difference to someone’s life.
So, with no further ado, let me unveil the glittering winners of the OMG! Gardening Awards 2009.
Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for…
Most snoggable male – Cleve West.
Most fanciable female – Alys Folwer.
Hottest couple – Nigel Colborn and the PG.
Best dressed gardener – James Alexander-Sinclair.
Worst dressed gardener – Bob Flowerdew.
Hot new talent – Arabella Sock’s silver tabby kitten.
Top of the mop award (best haircut) – Martyn Cox.
Funniest person in gardening – Arabella Sock.
Party mentalist of the year – Matthew Appleby.
Mouth almighty of the year – Anne Wareham.
Special discretionary awards
Nominated in most categories – Lia Leendertz (Most Fanciable Female, Party Mentalist of the Year, Best Dressed Gardener, Mouth Almighty of the Year and Hottest Couple).
The I Get Around award for pairing up the most in the Hottest Couple category – Mark Diacono (Mark D & James Alexander-Sinclair, Mark D and Lia Leendertz, Mark D & Anne Wareham, Mark D & Garden Monkey, Mark D & Chilean guava).
Should there not be an award for “best in show” a la Crufts.
btw – how rude of me.
Congrats. to all
A good winners list there Martyn with no real shockers. The judges have not been all that controversial making me think that security managed to tighten up on the plague of threats, blackmail attempts, etc?
Congrats on your award. Such beautifully coiffured locks deserve recognition from time to time!
Roll on next year I say.
Ryan
Thank you very much.
In honour of this award I seriously considered wearing spats to GMG Awards (I do actually own a pair) but dismissed the idea as going a teeny bit too far.
Compromised with collar studs.
Yet another of these totally corrupt, dishonest awards which should be banned by European regulation. How can anyone take the eccentricities and downright peculiarities of the garden world seriously when they are allowed out into rough and tumble of the light of day like this? Shame on you. Back to your climate controlled veg patches at once….
Where’s my prize?
Matt’s toned down the partying since the onset of Dadhood – the crown of hort’s top caner is there to be claimed!
Sigh….
a bit of a let-down after all the voting thrills & excitement.
Can a girl look forward to a decent close-up of your haircut?
What fun we had! Congratulations everyone. I see you started the tradition of having a double award winner yesterday
So glad to see that my nominations were generally taken on broad. Congrats to all who won an award or two. Just 3 went to the wrong people.
I can only hope that next year there is an award set aside for ‘Bestest Norn Iron Blogger Lady’ I could be in for a chance of winning that!!!
I feel, as in all award ceremonies, that we should have an example of the prize winners ‘work’.
Yes, we need some snippets just like the local radio ones yesterday
Appreciate the award Martyn but a fat lot of good it did at the GMG Awards yesterday…I did my best to take advantage of the accolade but no one seemed to want anything more than a peck on the cheek. Alys looked incredibly nervous and kept talking about allotments as if to distract me from suggesting a ‘most snoggable’, ‘most fanciable’ show of solidarity and even James A-S was less affectionate than usual either because I accidently stood him up at Moorgate Station or because he feared tongues if the award should go to my head. I fear no one takes your awards seriously enough. Complete waste of lip-gloss if you ask me.
[...] of form in these awards is vast, from the well-meaning chain letter to the tongue-in-cheek high-school popularity contest to the bright lights, big city variety. They perform similar functions: pushing forward a few [...]
I’ve lost another award to a cat!?
Right, I’m never gardening ever ever again. Ever!
Martyn – it was great to meet you last week and to see the look of surprise on your face! Thanks for doing so much to make me feel welcome
Martyn
I’m ashamed of you. Fancy fiddling the results so you got best wig/hairdo. I demand a recount. We all know you had it knitted from the finest cast-offs from past winners of GMG Awards. Reveal all before we do it for you…!
Is there going to be a separate moustache or beard of the year award next time?
Well done on the awards Martyn.